Things that piss off adoption agencies
Remember that movie, The Last Temptation of Christ? Right-wing fundies got their panties in a tizzy about it, which, of course, made me want to go see it immediately. Perfectly boring movie. I’m thinking there was a conspiracy between the movie industry and the fundies to make sure that people spent perfectly good money on a bad film!
On to my point…..
A movie is currently playing that has the adoption agencies in a frenzy. The movie is “Meet the Robinsons”. One adoption agency has recently sent an email out to the various AP groups with the following message:
>>>>”Dear WHFC Family,
We feel that it is important to warn you about a Disney movie called “Meet the Robinsons” that is now playing in many local cinemas. The advertising for this animated feature makes it sound like a great movie for any young child, but this is misleading. Fortunately, one of our adoptive parents alerted us about the negative adoption messages in the story and the very unhappy experience she had with both of her children who were greatly disturbed by the messages conveyed in this film….”<<<<
Ya know, if this AP has children that were very disturbed by the messages, I’m very disturbed about the parents of these kids. Let’s read on though…
>>>>”As a result, I went to see the film to decide if it warranted putting out an alert to our adoptive parent community. Indeed, I thought the concerns raised were completely justified.
The movie is filled with extraordinarily inappropriate messages about adoption. The basic story is about an adorable baby whose birthmother leaves him on the doorstep of an orphanage. Portrayed as loving, sweet, extremely smart and overly appealing, he spends the next 12 years of his life wanting a family and being turned down by one family after another. In all, more than 100 couples refuse to adopt him. One scene shows a prospective dad losing interest in adoption because this very smart little boy is more interested in science than sports. The prospective parents leave the disappointed child in an angry huff when he accidentally splatters them with some food from his science project. This is supposed to be funny….”<<<<<
I have to wonder….what upsets her most? The fact that this is funny or that PAPs (prospective adoptive parents) are portrayed in less than the white, savior-inducing light that they want to see themselves in? Face it folks, there are definitely PAPs out there that act this way, although we don’t hear about them very often in the media. They even have a name for it—-disruption. That means, “hey, you just didn’t live up to our expectations so we’re giving you back”. Nice, huh?
>>>”Since no one else wants him, the child invents a time machine in order to go back in time to find his birth mother. The “bad guy” in his time travel journey turns out to be his best buddy from childhood, once his orphanage roommate. Now an emotional wreck resulting from being left behind when the orphanage was closed and shut down, the once-cute orphan is now mean and devious. Another chuckle. Various monsters attack the child as continues his birth mother search. You get the picture! I found “Meet the Robinsons” to be both tasteless and totally insensitive regarding adoption issues. Please think very carefully before taking your child to see it, whether adopted or not. You may want to preview the movie yourself before deciding whether your child chould see it or not. At the very least, help prepare your child by letting him or her know about the adoption theme before seeing it. It is important for our children to know that orphanages no longer exist in the U.S. and that the adoption process is totally different from what is portrayed in this “pretend” movie. I will write the Disney Corporation to let them know about my concerns about their flippant way of dealing with issues that are extremely important and not funny for millions of adoptees and their families in this country and around the world.”<<<<<
Hey, you know what I don’t find funny? I don’t find it funny that these bloodsuckers charge thousands and thousands of dollars selling children from other countries and make millions off of us. I don’t find it funny that they usually don’t require that PAPs attend mandatory pre-adoption classes, taught by adoptees, so that these people are prepared when they adopt a transracial child. I don’t find it funny that when an adoptee becomes an adult, they want to charge the adoptee for their records (as if they haven’t gotten enough money off us already). And I don’t find it funny that they don’t give back to the country from which they are taking so that the country’s social services can be strengthened.
I don’t find it funny that these agencies even exist.
As far as the APs are concerned, my advice to you is to not worry about this movie. You should be worrying more about whether you’ve chosen to live in a predominantly white neighborhood when you have a transracial child. Worry about whether you’ve prepared your child for the racist remarks he/she will have to deal with in their schools, among their friends, in their communities. Worry about whether you’ve read enough books by adult adoptees. Worry about your reaction the first time your child asks you where his/her “real” mother is, or wants to talk about his “first” mom. Those are REAL concerns. Those should be YOUR concerns.
And don’t rent “The Last Temptation of Christ”. For that matter, don’t rent that Mel Gibson version either.
They both sucked.
Living, laughing, whining...as a korean adoptee 
Oh, “The Last Temptation of Christ” was great, although I think I’m in the minority on that one.
I think you make a ton of valid points here…..but, my gosh, I would never take my kid to see this movie. I would never want her to think she would be treated that way by anyone around her. Only when she is older will she understand what a “disruption” is. If others have had their kids scared by this movie, I take that as a warning.
I was reading a post on Harlow Monkey’s blog that convinced me that if people want to adopt transracially, there should be certain requirements they have to meet in addition to the usual ones. Attending seminars given by tras is a great idea. I also really think that paparents should have to spend some time volunteering in the community of their p-child’s heritage….volunteer at an African American church, or in a Chinese American school,etc. Get to know the people and the challenges they face. When I adopted we had some articles thrown at us that we could read if we wanted to…and that was it. The social workers knew nothing. Fellow paparents knew nothing to very little. Shit, at this point through my own reading and talking to people, I could teach the social workers at the agency I used. Their training needs to be a heck of a lot better if they are going to qualify to place children transracially.
Too funny.
That was great.
You are absolutely right, a little perspective is called for here.
Ya know me know, adding you to my links
All very good points. I loved it.
I am tired of parents who try to shield their children from every viewpoint that differs from theirs. Our jobs as parents are to help them understand and work through the difficult or painful experiences they are going to go have whether we want them to or not, not to prevent them from having them. Will these same parents who won’t take their children to MTR also forbid Dickens from being read in their household?
Remy saw MTR with a friend and did not say a peep about the adoption angle. It was a surprise to me just now that this was part of the story. She is curious about my adoption so if the movie made it seem that horrible, I’d figure that she’d come home and ask if it was really that bad.
Side note…Defoe did a relatively good job with the Last Temp, considering the material he had to work with, and let’s not forget Barbara Hershey’s scenes with her great ‘rack’ (so callous! can I even say this on Kimmy’s blog?). However, where the movie really shines is with P. Gabriel’s stunning soundtrack.