Happy Birthday to Me

•June 4, 2011 • 1 Comment

Another birthday has passed
Thoughts turn to birthmother
Wearied inevitability of the nothingness
Am I tired of wonderment
or just accepting of it?

“When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother what lies ahead?
Will I be wanted, will I be loved
here’s what my mother said” (personal liberties taken with the lyrics, of course)

she said nothing
Well, maybe she said “don’t, can’t, shouldn’t”
instead of “will, can, want”
Aahh…those mothers born

My REAL mother said
“will, want, can”
and she raised a good daughter
one who cries for the absent
but loves the present

I suppose there is still some anger
but a gleam of understanding as well
I am here, I have lived a good life
I have loved and been loved

Happy birthday to me, and thanks from your daughter

©Kim Eun Mi

Evangelicals’ Adoption Battlecry – The Daily Beast

•February 7, 2010 • Leave a Comment

As Bill Clinton works to spring U.S. missionaries charged with kidnapping in Haiti, the case highlights a new evangelical strategy: Adopt Third World babies and convert them.

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•September 16, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Act of God

Act of god requires
Children taken
Birthmothers erased

Act of god requires

Does god receive payment
For what is done in his name?

At the end of time

•March 25, 2009 • Leave a Comment

I’m sitting in the emergency room with an elderly lady who’s being admitted into the hospital, and after that, a nursing home.  It is what it is.  She has brought a plastic bag with her (and 2 purses).  She unties her little bag and pulls out a home phone and a red box.  She opened the red box to show me her most prized possessions; 4 costume jewelry necklaces and 3 cheap rings.  That’s what she had to show for her life.  A home phone that wasn’t charged, and a box of cheap jewelry. 

What will be in my box at the end of my life?  What will be in yours?

Adoption agencies suck ass!

•January 31, 2009 • 2 Comments
At the asian festival, what is wrong with this picture??

At the asian festival, what is wrong with this picture??

Soooo….today I went to the Asian festival.  It’s been a coupla  years since I went last, but a friend of mine wanted to go, so I thought “what the hell”. 

Last time I went, this adoption agency was there.   I remember feeling both offended and violated that an adoption agency would actually be represented.  At that time, I called and complained to the Texas Institute of Cultures and to the Great Wall of China agency.   In fairness, the lady who I spoke with at the agency was nice and actually offered to have me come and speak to PAPs, which I agreed to do.

My friend, Trish, and I went and spoke at the PAP get-together.   All of these potentials sat there, a picture of some nameless asian child encased in a picture frame.    This was a meeting for those who had finally been assigned a child.    I remember one lady who walked in with the picture in a very expensive frame, trailed by her hen-pecked hubby who was actually carrying their lap dog!    Of course, this couple also decided NOT to stay for the talk that Trish and I were giving.    The one that probably needed it most didn’t stay.   I remember thinking, what kind of screening do these agencies do?!

Anyways, two or three years laters, this agency is still out there, peddling their wares at the festival.    I wonder what goes through their minds.   I wonder if they really think they can pull in more money by setting up a booth.   I, as an adoptee, come to the festival trying to connect with some of my roots.  While there, I feel happy and sad, angry and contemplative.  What I don’t want to come face-to-face with is a business that profits from our losses! 

So, I’ll voice my complaint again this year as well, but I’m guessing it won’t make a difference.    After all, I’m sure that the Great Wall of China is paying a hefty sum to be there, and as we know in adoption, money speaks louder than….well, everything.

I Am Loved

•August 28, 2008 • 3 Comments

My parents said "she left because she loved you"

My husband said" I love you but I must leave you"

Is it any wonder I flinch

When I am loved?


©2006 Kim Eun Mi Young

The Test

•August 28, 2008 • 1 Comment

We hurt ourselves
To feel alive
We hurt others
Because we must
To find worthiness
Of being loved
To find acknowledgement
That we are not worthy
Of love
We, who were left in trash cans
Hospital waiting rooms
Search always
for that first love


©2006 Kim Eun Mi Young